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realized that i can't be agitated.
last nite had a tiff with Joshua.... after that started to have a throbbing headache.
once my blood pressure rises, i get a headache. ouch...
thou i cool down fats after my short fuse, my temple still hurts... popped 2 panadols after that.

had a tiff over what matter?
clubbing.
what else can get us to disagree?
the last time was over something a mutual friend said... about relationships.
my frank opinion : most guys are bastards. but of course the underlying tone was that i excluded my father, my god-father, Joshua and a few close guy friends whom i find very wonderful!
don't know why, everytime we have a tiff over such trivial matters.
that's why i told him, never bring me along to meet mutual friends who talk too much for their own good. maybe now, we should not go clubbing together also.

my friends going down to Zouk, asked me along. Mambo Nite.
i don't mind going since i finished my work, but doesn't mean i WANT to go.
but he insisted that i shouldn't let his opinions affect my decisions. preach preach preach.
i coulnd't find my ear-muffs. and even my Dad doesn't preach at me. i'm coming age 20.

to think about it. i do miss my single days.
when i could do everything i want, go anywhere i want with whoever i want.
i don't need to answer to anybody at all. except my parents and my studies.

unlike now.

if i asked for his opinion, he would say don't let his opinion affect my decision.
if i want to do something, i should just go ahead and do it and have fun.
if i don't ask for his opinion and just strike as i would.
then, he'll start thinking / assuming that i don't respect him.

he even gets jealous when i oogle at handsome hunky guys on the mrt!
what? is it wrong to LOOK at guys? nice to envy. nice too google during a boring train ride.
i'm not going to run off with them anyway. chey~
and now, he says he doens't want me to treat him like another Mr. B coz he preaches too much.

guys are such annoying pains in the neck.
sorry guys! but i can't understand what you really want or even think.
care to enlighten me? or i should just not bother about anything?

single life was hassle free!

he wants to meet me today. but no, i think is better not to meet.
he is having problems with his maths, alot of things he don't understand.
i think he should really consult his tutors than figure out himself. not enough time.
and his mum wants him to stay home to study. so he can't study at my place.
he also can't come over often. it's ok. i don't mind. i can rest alone anyway.

he must understand that it is not that i don't want to meet him.
of course i'll love to meet him. but there are far more important matters to attend to. prioritize!
his Mum won't be happy if we meet too often. if he insist on meeting me against her wishes,
he would incur her wrath and she will have a damaged impression of me too...
i don't want my image to be tarnished. also, if he gives him to her now, next time if he wants to go out or something, she would allow more willingly coz he's been a obedient kid.

as children, we must learn how to give and take.
when to give in to our parents and not be stubborn. when to take advantage of our accumulated merit points and redeem a nice all-paid outing. it's very political in a sense.
even if i meet him, we also don't know what to do or where to go. no specific plans.
sorry, but i am not interested in relaxing before the google box. not my type.
i rather sleep. if there're no concrete plans, i am reluctant to go out. everywhere's crowded.
not if it's going to tampines mall or century square for the nth time....

if i wanna relax, i'd rather go swimming, cycle or walk along the beach. do something!!!
but joshua doesn't like to play sports. so much for an ex-athlete. he now bums around in bed.
or maybe go down town Orchard to shop or people-watch. that's nice.
not anywhere within my estate...

well... human are funny creatures.
when they are loved, they grumble.
when they are unloved, they also gumble.
life is hard to please, isn't it?

posted by Veen @ 01:26